Adam! You know apples make you gassy!

Have the spirits of squats past taken hold of your bathroom?

We might need more than the 8oz spray bottle for this case.

Say goodbye to them all.

Big shout out to Father Theophilus Riesinger—also known by his rap name TheoX—who spent 23 days driving a demon out of a woman in Iowa in 1928.

Time Magazine reported that, after Father Theo was done, the woman’s home smelled “...fresh as a Des Moines flower bed; Father Theo drove the stinketh out with great ardor and conviction.”

BIG TIME.

Find yourself in a stinky situation? You don’t have to go it alone.

Cows aren’t possessed, despite what their horns and piercing eyes might lead you to believe.

However, we’re not concerned with what’s on their heads. No, we’re more perturbed by what comes out of their butts.

You see, cows fart methane, and methane not only stinks, but it’s one of the chief contributors to global warming. When you add up the impact of over a billion cows all farting at the same time, you’ve got a serious emitter on your hands.

That’s why we at Holy Water Odor Exorcist donate $1 from every sale to carbon-reduction non-profits like Cool Earth and Clean Air Task Force.

You see, it’s not just about spritzing out divine freshness; it’s about exorcising the earth while we do it.

Pretty simple, really.

You can cancel that Halloween costume brainstorm and just head over to our shop.

This is the face of someone who’s about to reach for the Holy Water Odor Exorcist.

May we recommend the director’s cut?

Throw this on your noggin’ and see if demons DARE to waft their nasty scents around you.

Take heed: Holy Water Odor Exorcist is a miracle of divine freshness.

The verdict is in: two thumbs up for Holy Water Odor Exorcist!

World, we give you: Holy Water Odor Exorcist.

It’s not a miracle. Actually, it is...a fresh, odor eliminating miracle.

Need a little practice expelling evil aromas? Feel free to download our handy demonic odor target to really hone your accuracy. Keep a steady hand, and keep your eye on the prize! Freshness is just a few spritzes away.

Word to the wise: try to avoid ever being downwind of a demon.

These two were one bottle of divine freshness away from a much happier ending.

We tried enlisting a little artificial intelligence to help us name our new brand. Suffice it to say, some things you just have to do yourself...

That’s a lot of words to say “Holy Water Odor Exorcist.”

You lost us at “no empirical evidence.”

Holy Water Odor Exorcist keeps unions copacetic.

When it comes to odoriferous apparitions, Holy Water Odor Exorcist really is in a category all by itself.

“Come back when you decide to stop pooping all over the boat.” - Noah

(In the event that Holy Water Odor Exorcist is featured, logos will be removed accordingly.)

PSA: it’s been brought to our attention that “Holy Water” is being distributed at various places around the world. Please be aware that while this substance may cleanse your spirit, it will do nothing for demonic odors.

If you’re going to beat the bots, traffic lights aren’t going to cut it.

Curious about how we make Holy Water Odor Exorcist? Here’s our Chief Product Officer testing an early prototype of our proprietary formula.

One of our competitors—we won’t say which one—designed a logo that is undoubtedly possessed. We can finally prove it. See for yourself!

We're not saying using anything other than Holy Water Odor Exorcist will condemn you to eternal damnation...but we’re not NOT saying it, either.

In case you were curious what was on the other side of that Jesus toast from a few years back.

Kittens: they’re cute. But that which is emitted from their unholy holes? That’s an aroma evil enough to bring a saint to they’re knees.

These shoes are possessed. How can you tell? Look closely...

Do you see it yet?

Ahhhhhhh! The mark of the beast! Quick, grab the Holy Water Odor Exorcist!

Check out this amazing before and after we just got from one of our loyal customers. What a difference Holy Water Odor Exorcist makes!

Well when you name a place “hell,” what do you expect?

No, that’s not smoke from the conclave. That’s something far stinkier...

Is your cat’s litterbox the scene of demonic possession? You know what to do.

Not feeling like yourself? We’ve got live local exorcists standing by! Contact us now!

Love animals, but hate their odors?

Holy Water Odor Exorcist is great for long-term rentals!

Holy Water Odor Exorcist is good enough even for scent sticklers.

Even stubborn stinks kneel before Holy Water Odor Exorcist.

Thank God for Holy Water Odor Exorcist.

Inthenameofthecleanliness,freshness,andHolyWa-ater.

Know how you can tell that an exorcist means business?